change...

There are some days when I wake up, and realize that I’m a different person than I once knew. I notice the changes, the growth, the set-backs. It’s a little backward, I think- to get to know yourself once you’ve changed and improved over time. It seems that I’d be comfortable with me by the time I’d changed, but I compare it to meeting a stranger. There are days when I wake up to the person in the mirror saying, “Hello Me! How are you?” and I jump back- because if I really knew myself would I have to ask?

The fear, I think, is my resistance to change- although it’s already happened- how did it slip by with out me noticing?

“We are creatures of habit.” an old woman used to tell me every week. So, when I change slowly, I trick myself. I think I’m living habitually, when in fact, I’m changing and growing. We all do, and it’s rare that someone will change drastically overnight.

My conclusion is that these changes are good, and the fear is good. It keeps me in check. I’ll never be the type of person who goes for years without really knowing who I am. The advanced me checks up on the slower me every once in awhile to make sure.