Pretty Much

ONE OF THE BEST DAYS IN MY LIFE.

happy

Things turn out best for the people
who make the best of the way things turn out.
So smile a little more,
it can only make life brighter,
beauty more spectacular,
and your happiness greater.

peace

It isn't enough to talk about peace.
One must believe in it.
And it isn't enough to believe in it.
One must work at it.

Advice

Just say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't expect someone to read your mind,and don't play games with heads or hearts. Don't tell half truths and expect trust when the full truth comes out. Half truths are no better then lies. Don't be cold to someone you care about - indifference hurts more then angry words.

now he's mine :)

Recently I've been,
Hopelessly reaching
Out for this guy,
Who's out of this world.
Believe me.

:)

It was odd…his blue eyes met with my brown ones and we didn’t look away. for a moment caught in this awkward staring glance like thing, and then he did the most perfect thing, when he looked away, he smiled.

My Wish for you.

This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, LOVE to complete your life.

I've absolutely fallen for you.

I mean it was that quick, you know. Because love comes that quick. It's like a decision - love is a decision that you make. And I made it right there on the spot.

heart

I’m a war of head vs. heart
it's always this way;
my head is weak, my heart always speaks
before I know what it will say.

spill

I just want to get inside your head,
so I can see how you feel about me.
it's all I wonder about lately,
all I want to know is what you see.

you, ohhh it's you

I'm not going to stress over you anymore.
It isn't worth it. I tried to work something out,
but you just ignored it.
I'm not trying to say I don't want you because I definitely do.
All I'm saying is I'm done chasing after you.

i miss this

Before Sidekicks & iPods; PlayStation2 or X-BOX.
Before the 5 hours of homework you put off every night.
When light up sneakers were cool
& when you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was $0.65 a gallon
& caller ID was a new thing;
when we recorded stuff on VCRs
& paid $3.50 for a movie.
When we called the radio station to request songs
to hear off our walkmans;
when 2Pac & Biggie were alive.
When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever;
Way back when we played tag, Hide-&-Go Seek at dusk,
red light, green light, heads up 7 Up;
playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on,
hopscotch, slip-&-slides, hula hoops, skip-its.
Remember reading R.L. Stine's GooseBumps series,
the annoying NanoPets & Furbies,
running through the sprinklers,
crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King,
Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car,
getting the privilege to sit in the front seat of the car.
But wait; how about watching Saturday morning cartoons
in your PJ's, still wrapped up in your Garfield comforter,
Hey Arnold, Doug, Rugrats, The original Power Rangers,
Or what about The Secret Life of Alex Mac, Ren & Stimpy,
Double Dare, Rocko's Modern Life, Real Monsters,
Wild & Crazy Kids, Clarissa Explains it All,
Salute Your Shorts, Are You Afraid of the Dark?
The original cast members of All That, Kenan & Kel,
The Magic School Bus, Flash Forward, Pete & Pete,
Legends of the Hidden Temple, Hey Dude, Dinosaurs,
Pinky & the Brain, Blossom, Hangin' With Mr. Copper,
My So Called Life, Wishbone, Bill-Nye the Science Guy.
Who could forget Snick & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched,
I Dream of Jeanie, The Facts of Life, & I Love Lucy.
Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching
The Wonder Years, or Nick Jr. with Face, Gulah-Gulah Island,
Little Bear, Under the Umbrella Tree,
The Busy World of Richard Scary,
The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
& Kool-Aid was the drink of choice,
wearing your new shoes on the first day of school,
class field trips,
when Christmas was the most exciting time of year,
when $5 seemed like a million,
& another dollar a miracle.
When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday,
when Toys 'R' Us overruled the mall.
Go back to the time when argument's were only started
when it came to who was gonna be the red ranger,
decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe',
mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'
'Race issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest,
money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly'
It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends,
being old referred to anyone over 20,
a chance to skate as a couple at the local
roller rink was like winning the lottery,
scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride
the 'big people' rides at the fair;
when playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever,
when Ninja Turtles ruled the world,
when a candy bar at the grocery store was
the highlight of your day,
when coupons collected all year could get you
a prize in your class auction,
when the only thing you cried over was your
mom being late to pick you up,
when stress was addition & subtraction,
when friendships were as complicated as
who's house to sleep over,
when shaving cream was just meant for play,
when a first kiss only lead to cooties,
when Valentines Day meant cards for all,
when birthdays were a class event,
when a friend moving away was the saddest day of your life,
when the summer lasted forever,
when time didn't matter.
These were the days we hadn't realized
escaped us until it's all brought back

i'll learn to fly

standing on the edge
hesitation of the freefall
the unknown ignites fear
will i find the sky is infinite
or will i discover the end?
fight the urge to one-eighty
to return to security of complacency
breathe in, exhale fear
one last look back
close my eyes
risking all i know
and i take the initiative to fly

blog

I have experienced pains far worse than teenage heartbreaks.
Heartbreaks are just life educating us.
You will learn more from 7 days of agony than you will with 7 years of content.
You won’t grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden all your life.
But you will grow if you are sick, in pain, and experience losses.
Pain is important. How we evade it,
succumb it, deal with it, and how we transcend it.
So learn to accept pain,
not as a curse or a punishment, but as a gift to you,
with a very specific purpose.
People often try to alter the circumstances
to suit themselves, when we should really be
letting the circumstances alter us.
It is all part of this thing called growing up.

IT IS WHAT IT IS.

It's okay.
Its okay to want someone you can't have.
It's okay to keep friendships when you
don't want them, or want something more.
Its okay to cry when you're hurt and its
okay to stay mad at someone who hurt you.
Believe it or not, its always gonna be okay.
That’s just how it works. Sometimes, things
don't always work out the way you want
them to, and a lot of times, it seems like they
never will, but its okay. That’s how life's
supposed to go. Its all about learning how to
deal with the bumpy parts in the road and
waiting til they're smooth again. Its all about
forgiving and forgetting. Its all about waiting
and wishing.
That’s just how life is.

Future Love

He asked, "Are you sad?" And she was quiet, hesitant, unlike herself until she shakily shook her head "yes". And he said nothing, but ran his hands up her back and turned her to face him, pressing his nose against hers; looking softly, hardly breathing, understanding, not knowing, not even loving, just comprehension, comprehension of what she needed:
The hands that brushed her spine and the hair out of her face; the pressure of his body and the fact that just then, he was her friend. And she felt more than his skin and he, more than hers,
and he held her like he held the world.

How I Tend To Live My Life

Live each moment of your dream, your goal, with passion.
Do not let your conviction and motivation die when the going gets tough.
Bounce higher with every fall and always aim for what seems impossible.

Letting Go....

To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind in confidence for the future. Letting go is learning, experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path and set yourself free.

i just want to go back home.

calling all tickets, the train leaves in minutes.
she sits near the window
and turns her back on the city
she once called home.
the yard where she ran through snow,
the streets driven up and down and
through the lot where she'd stare at the stars,
the porch nights, she'd count the cars.
they're all memories of simpler times now gone.

yet, i still continue to hope.

nothing hurts more than
hoping, hoping, hoping
only to have it all slowly crushed
day by day, moment by moment.
you know you're losing it
but you can't do anything
in the world about it.

so. so. so....

at the end of the day, after doing all these things, there's an empty space. there's going to be something you ache for. the key is to find something you have a passion for, something you can live for every day of your life, and stay with it. to fulfill yourself, you must fulfill your purpose.

hear!

And you'll hear a break of laughter as she smiles, an outburst of noise. The perfection is there if you crawl underneath the first layer of mistakes and insecurities, and there you'll see the person worth listening to, the one that most people try to find in themselves, the one that she never saw inside herself.

.................................... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

sometimes we just need to get out,
get away and momentarily forget everything
in order to realize that what we have
really isn't all that bad.

I'm afraid of...

I'm afraid of time.. I mean, I'm
afraid of not having enough time...
Not enough time to understand people,
how they really are, or to be understood myself.
I'm afraid of the quick judgments and
mistakes that everybody makes.
You cant fix them without time.
I'm afraid of seeing snapshots instead of movies

Photographs.

When you see such photos, you can’t help but wonder at just how sweet and sad and innocent all moments of life are rendered by the tripping of a camera’s shutter, for at that point the future is still unknown and has yet to hurt us, and also for that brief moment, are poses are accepted as honest.

True Life

It is no surprise to me that hardly anyone tells the truth about how they feel. The smart ones keep themselves to themselves for good reasons. Why would you want to tell anyone anything that's dear to you? Even when you feel like them and want nothing more than to be closer than close to them? It's so painful to be next to someone you feel strongly about and know you can't say the things you want to.

you're close to perfect

And so, while the rest of the world went on unaware,
drinking their coffee, reading the sports page, and
picking up their dry cleaning, I leaned forward and
kissed him, making a choice that would change
everything. Maybe somewhere there was a ripple, a
bit of a jump, some small shift in the universe, barely
noticeable. I didn’t feel it then. I felt only him kissing
me back, easing me into the sunlight as I lost myself
in the taste of him and felt the world go on, just as
it always had, all around us.

on and on and on

The unreal is more powerful than
the real, because nothing is as
perfect as you can imagine it,
because its only intangible ideas,
concepts, beliefs, fantasies that
last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots.
People, well, they die. But things
as fragile as a thought, a dream,
a legend, they can go on and on.

:(

I felt a lump rise in my throat, raw and throbbing, but even as the tears came I wasn’t sure who I was crying for.

how I really feel.

I have all these feelings, these weird feelings,
& I've had this burning desire to express them.
But I can't. I just can't.
And these feelings, they're trapped.
They're like stuck in my heart & I just feel so lonely.

....it's a wonderful life.

look in the mirror and fix yourself up. wash away those tears. be strong, honey. suck it up. no one else can know. paint on your smile and walk away. you have to pretend you're fine.